The Death of a Sinner

I guess it's not surprising that the American news media seem so excited to report on the demise of Osama bin Laden.  After all, he is responsible for a great deal of damage to the United States, and we've been hunting him for quite some time.  It's understandable that this important news would take over the air waves.  News of a military victory is something that Americans would want to know during a time of war.

But what does surprise me (though it shouldn't, since I can remember how we reacted to the execution of Saddam Hussein not that long ago) is the unabashed jubilation over another man's death.  And for this to happen in the world--for an enemy's death to be considered a victory to be celebrated--well, I guess even that isn't terribly shocking.  But it's happening among those who profess to follow Christ.  It's happening among even the Orthodox.  And that should not be so.

In the Church, we are given daily reminders of what the attitude of the Most Holy Trinity is toward people like Mr. bin Laden.  For example, every Sunday, as we prepare to unite ourselves to Christ through the Mystical Supper, we recite certain prayers.  And they are not meant to provide only a transient state of repentance, preparing us only for that single spoonful of sanctity, but also for an eternity of union with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

St. Basil the Great gives us one of these prayers, in which he uses the words of the prophet Ezekiel and the Apostle St. Paul:

. . . For, O Thou who lovest mankind, thou hast said, by thy Prophet, that thou hast no pleasure in the death of a sinner, but rather that he should turn from his wickedness and live. Thou dost not desire, O Master, to destroy the works of thy hands or that they should perish, but willest that all men should be saved and come to the knowledge of the Truth. . .

So, how is it then, that any of us, knowing this, could be glad that another human is dead?  It does not please his Maker, Whom we claim to love.  Likewise, it should not please us.

St. John Chrysostom gives us another preparatory prayer, which begins:

I believe, O Lord, and I confess that thou art truly the Christ, the Son of the living God, who didst come into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief[emphasis mine]. . .

It's that last part where most of us stumble.  It's easy to recognize that Christ Jesus loves mankind, and even not too terribly hard to see that we are all sinners.  But when it comes to saying that I am the chief of sinners--the worst of the worst--more despicable than Adolf Hitler, more wicked than Osama bin Laden...well, that's difficult, to say the least.  But if I am willing to adopt that attitude, it will be possible for me to learn the mercy of Christ Jesus, who died for us even while we were still sinners (Rom. 5:8).

This mercy teaches us to love our enemies, to pray for those who persecute us (St.Matt. 5:44).   Heaven does not rejoice at death; heaven rejoices at repentance (St.Luke 15:10).  Death is never a good thing.  No one who claims to follow Christ should ever celebrate it.  Instead, we must pray.  We must pray for the souls of those who suffer death.  We must pray for those whom they leave behind.  We must pray for the state of the whole world, that we may all be moved to repent.  Whether he brought his death upon himself, or whether it was somehow necessary in order to prevent him from committing future devastating acts, is irrelevant.  The first thought of any Christian, upon hearing the news of Mr. bin Laden's death, ought to have been, "Lord, have mercy on his soul."

But, even if it wasn't, it's not too late to start.

Good Fences

Last summer, we got new next-door neighbors.

They can't really help it that they have the same last name we do.  And they didn't know us when they decided to give their daughter the same name we gave ours a whole year earlier, so that they actually have the same first AND last names.  So we'll just call those things weird coincidences that couldn't be helped.  We'll forget for a minute that they've enrolled their daughter at the same neighborhood preschool we go to and they take her to the same doctor we go to, so that now every time I call those places, I have to be prepared to give a date of birth or a teacher's name so that the staff doesn't accidentally look up the wrong records.  Let's forget about those things, since it's really my fault for giving those places such stellar reviews when they asked us for recommendations in the first place.  But even if I don't blame them for those things, I think they're the kind of people who just might think all of those things are awesome enough to have done on purpose.

They have no boundaries. Don't get me wrong, they seem like nice enough people.   They're friendly, and that's great.  But I'd like to keep it at friendly without being friends.  I like having my own space.

I don't want them ringing our doorbell three or four times a week because their little girl wants my little girl to come over and play.  I don't want their daughter racing up my stairs as soon as I open the door, and if that happens I'd prefer it if the mom at least batted an eyelash about it.   I don't want the husband coming over every couple of weeks because he's anxious about how to care for the wonderful old live oak we share, or asking if we noticed the bushes that cover our utility meters have been trimmed. (Um, yeah, because I TRIMMED THEM, and only the ones on MY property that were blocking my access to my water meter.) 

My daughter likes theirs, and I'm happy they can play together outside in the front yard, but I'm sick of them inviting my daughter inside to play, and I'm sick of my daughter telling me she wants to invite theirs over.  I've allowed both a couple of times, but frankly I don't really want to babysit their 3-year-old for them, and I don't really want to invite the mom in to visit so she can watch her, either.  A few months ago, the mom actually asked if my daughter would be interested in coming over to spend the night.  She's four.  Even if I didn't have huge trust issues, that would never happen.   The people who used to live in their  house had a little girl, too, only a couple of months younger than my daughter, and we never had this problem.  So, I've been saying "no" a lot lately.   And trying to explain to the kids why I don't want them to answer the door. 

I get the feeling they let their daughter do whatever she wants most of the time.  For example, our preschool gets people to come to the Scholastic book fair by setting up an art show alongside it, with our children's art available for purchase.   Each teacher signs up to be there at a certain time during the evening, and the kids try to go at that time to play with their classmates and show us their art.   We always go, because who can resist the immortalization of our babies' handprints in tempera?  Well, on the Tuesday of the fair, they came home from school and told us they'd already been because their class slot was kind of late and they were worried it would interfere with bedtime.  They asked if we'd been yet, and I said we planned to go later.  My daughter admired the book theirs had bought, and we went our separate ways.  So imagine how perplexed I was when, later that evening at the book fair, their daughter runs up to us and says hello.   When I saw her mother, I mentioned it was a surprise to see them.  "Oh, she kept talking about how she wanted to go to the book fair with [my daughter], so we decided to come back."  We were already done, so I just said I hoped they enjoyed the fair, and we left.

Now that's just creepy.  Right?  Who lets their preschooler stalk other children?  Don't reasonable parents say things like, "Ha! NO?"

And then there's the dog.  He's some enormous mixed breed that she bought at a shelter when she was single, because she wanted some protection while she hawked rugs on the side of the road.  (Which she still does, by the way.  So, the next time you're on the highway, and you see the person with rugs hanging from the side of her big white van, and you wonder what kind of person might decide to do that for a living, wave.  That's my neighbor.)  Anyway, this dog bolts out the front door any chance he gets and proceeds to mark all of the neighbors' territory as his own.  One day she got tired of calling for him and decided she'd rather not chase him.  She turned to me and said, "Haha, I hope nobody minds if he's running around the neighborhood."  I told her about our leash laws and let her know that somebody (me?ahem!) might call animal control if she doesn't keep him on a leash when he's outside.  I guess that scared her enough to keep him inside, because I've only seen him get out without a leash once since then, and she actually chased him down and took him back inside.

I've been wondering if the HOA will let me build a picket fence along the property line of our side yard.  Probably not, since I haven't seen one anywhere else in the neighborhood.  But it would've kept the husband from pulling the oak sapling that was growing in my yard--and believe me, I am sure it was my yard--while he was weeding today.  I noticed it last week.  It was in a perfect spot--not too close to the house, not in the middle of anywhere we like to run with the kids, and actually in a part of the yard that could have used a good shade tree.  As I looked at it this morning and thought about how much it had grown in less than a week, I thought about involving the kids in a project where we'd measure it every few days and chart its growth.  And then this afternoon, it was gone.  And the neighbor was outside on his knees in the grass, with a big pile of weeds beside him on the sidewalk.  I confronted him about it, and he admitted he pulled it and seemed contrite that he had not paid attention to whose yard he was in.   And while I'm willing to forgive him, I don't feel badly about letting him know I was annoyed. 

But as one of my dearest friends pointed out to me last week, it could be worse:  it could have been my parents who bought the house next door.  But that's a story for another time.

Please, pretty please, leave me a comment below.  What are things like with your neighbors?  Are their people in your life that just don't get personal boundaries?  Let me know what you think!

Today Is the Beginning of Our Salvation

Sometimes, when a friend mentions how she just can't wait for her mom to visit or how they're best friends and love doing everything together, I get a little sick at my stomach.  I mean, I think that's great for them, it's just not my experience.  The sound of my mother's voice makes me want to hide under the covers and never come out.  Her touch feels intrusive, like she's a parasite trying to suck something out of me.  So the concept of having a good time with my mother is foreign to me, just as the idea that I could be a happy person without talking to my mother for three months often makes no sense to someone else.  So, I don't really bring it up much unless someone asks me about it first. 

Growing up, it really never even occurred to me that other people's mothers didn't yell at them for hours at a time or call them terrible names, that their parents didn't spend their evenings screaming and cursing at one another, that their mothers didn't burst into uncontrollable tears for no predictable reason and then blame them for it.   I felt like a failure as a Christian and a daughter for constantly making mistakes and disrespecting my mother, for never being good enough to make her happy.  I thought it was my fault she acted the way she did, even after I started to realize her behavior didn't make a lot of sense.  I was well into my twenties before I was able to accept that I had grown up in abusive home.

It's taken a lot of work to learn how to deal with that, psychologically, spiritually, and practically.  And I'm still learning.  I am deeply grateful to Christ Jesus with giving me what I need in order to heal, including a supportive husband, a prayerful priest, understanding friends, and sacramental grace.  But I think one of the most important things He has done is to share His own mother with me.

I don't really know that I would be able to articulate how wonderful she is without writing several pages, and I really want to keep this shorter.  I will just say that she is everything I need a mother to be.   The New Eve is the greatest example of what it can be like to allow The Most Holy Trinity to transform us into Their likeness.  Where the corruption of this world results in people who live in a constant state of turmoil, she is peaceful.  While humanity is vengeful and abusive, she is patient and tender.  She prays for us, weeps over us, and protects us.  She wants us to grow and guides us towards her Son.  Even though I don't have a perfect biological model for how to be a good mother, I have the Theotokos.   She is a great source of strength and comfort to me.  It helps tremendously to know that the first person to ever say yes to the incarnate Christ is still around saying prayers for me and my children.

Today we celebrate that moment when the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, when a young Virgin made our salvation possible.  On days like today, I begin to understand the joy my friends feel when they think about seeing their moms again.  It feels right to walk into the church to honor and celebrate her, and to thank her for all she has done for us as she participates with the Most Holy Trinity in the restoration of humanity.  It's really nice to have such a beautiful and wonderful mother.

Icon of the Annunciation, from www.oca.org

Troparion for the Annunciation

Today is the beginning of our salvation,

The revelation of the eternal mystery!

The Son of God becomes the Son of the Virgin

As Gabriel announces the coming of Grace.

Together with him let us cry to the Theotokos:

Rejoice, O Full of Grace,

The Lord is with You!

Counting Christians

American news media are giving a lot of attention to the recent protests by Egyptians who are hoping to secure a new government.   The situation is certainly worthy of  attention and interest, and I have little to comment on about it.  But as often happens when I hear news reports about that part of the world, which almost always draw attention to the fact that the region is predominantly Muslim,  I couldn't help but wonder about the Christian community there and how these events will impact them.  Will a new government offer them protection from persecution and give them equal status?  Will they be forced into the catacombs?  Will things get better or worse for them, or stay about the same?

Here in the United States, we tend to think of countries in the "Middle East" as exclusively Islamic, and when we hear of differences in religion there, it is usually only in reference to conflicts within Islam (e.g., Sunni, Shi'a, etc.).    What is almost always ignored is that followers of Christ Jesus have been painstakingly guarding the Christian faith  in that region since the religion was in its infancy.  St. Mark the Evangelist carried the Gospel to the Egyptian people and served as Bishop of Alexandria beginning about a decade after the Ascension of Christ.  Since that time, Christians there have continued to preserve their Tradition in the face of much persecution.

Coptic Icon of St. Mark the Evangelist

I don't remember hearing anything about it here, but the BBC covered another wave of protests in Cairo and Alexandria at the beginning of January.  Protesters were seeking better protection for Egyptian Christians, whose Churches are being targeted for bombing by groups associated with al-Qaeda.  Surely, though, this Christian minority in Egypt must be extraordinarily small and insignificant, considering how little we hear about them.  Exactly how many Christians are there in Egypt, anyway?

The answer might surprise you.  Demographics I have found put Egypt's Muslim population at around 90%.  The remaining 10% are predominantly Christian, with Coptic Orthodox Christians making up the overwhelming majority of those.  To put this in perspective, here in the United States, only about 0.6% of our population identifies as Muslim.   That would mean that if each country had a population of 1,000 people, 100 Egyptians would be Christian, while only 6 Americans would be Muslim!  Even if we could account for differences in survey method or sample size, the data still seems to show that there are drastically more Christians per capita in Egypt than there are Muslims in the United States.  (In case you were wondering, all non-Christian religions in the U.S. together still make up only around 4-5% of the population, while those with no religion at all account for roughly 15%.)

Sinai icon of St. Catherine from St. Isaac of Syria Skete

 
My patron saint, Catherine the Great Martyr, was from Alexandria, and recently I have thought a lot about the monks who labor in prayer and asceticism in her monastery at the foot of Mount Sinai.  I'm pretty sure the prayers of the monastics sustain the whole world.  As we watch with anticipation to see how things unfold in the land that sheltered our Lord and Master in the early years of His life, let us join with the monastics in commending our brothers and sisters there to His care and protection, asking for the intercessions of the many  Egyptian saints .

Coptic Icon of the Holy Family's Flight Into Egypt

 P.S.  Almost as soon as I published this, my friend shared this timely article .  Thanks, A.K.!

Sorry For Being a Boob...

Earlier this year, I wrote a post about the benefits of breastfeeding.   My intent was to educate readers who might criticize women who breastfeed in public, and to encourage those women who have had to deal with ignorant comments from strangers.  Even though I tried to make the point that breastfeeding isn't necessarily always the best choice for every family, I still wondered if maybe I was still conveying a condescending attitude toward mothers who use formula to feed their babies, especially considering all the potential (and sometimes unproven) drawbacks I mentioned about using formula.  I have been feeling badly about that for a while, despite positive comments on the blog, and so I'd like to apologize--I'm sorry!--and try to make up for what was lacking in the other post.

I think the best way to do that is to share a post written last month by a friend of mine about how she became a formula-feeder.  She does a remarkable job communicating her struggle with breastfeeding and has an inspiring and balanced perspective.  So, please take a few minutes to go read Summer's article on Fearless Formula Feeder, and give her some love in the comment section.  You might enjoy browsing through the rest of the site as well.