Well, It's Not a Coconut!*

A friend suggested it as a possible topic for a blog post, and I have to admit, I probably would never have thought to write about joy on my own. Even though just seeing the word written there brings a smile to my face and a wave of peace through my heart, I'm not sure I have what it takes to write about it. I am more likely to grumble than to notice opportunities to praise God, and I check my e-mail more often than I pray. Nevertheless, here follow a few of my thoughts on the subject.

Joy.

I can't really say the word  without thinking of St. Seraphim of Sarov. Overflowing with the love of God, he called everyone he encountered "[his] joy," seeing them as they were created to be, icons of Christ Jesus. "On the Acquisition of the Holy Spirit" quotes him as saying, "The Spirit of God fills with joy whatever He touches," and that our joy-filled encounters with the Most Holy Trinity are still merely "foretastes" of the life to come: "...[I]f they fill our souls with such sweetness, well-being, and happiness, what shall we say of that joy which has been prepared in heaven for those who weep here on earth?" He reminds us that there is joy here even in our suffering, and that makes it possible to begin, even now, to live in a place where all sickness, sorrow, and sighing have fled away.

This icon is avaliable for purchase here.

Joy.

In the Holy Gospels, Christ Jesus uses a metaphor to warn his disciples against false prophets; He says that we can identify a tree by its fruit, and that a diseased tree cannot produce healthy fruit. St. Paul echoes this idea in the fifth chapter of his epistle to the Galatians, calling joy a "fruit of the Spirit," visible evidence that a person is working in unison with the Most Holy Trinity. Furthermore, The Precious and Life-giving Cross is often called "tree," not only synechdochially (i.e., because it was made of wood), but also because it is the mystical fulfillment of the prototypical Tree of Life. As Christians, we choose to become grafted into that tree, to be crucified with Christ Jesus; yet, we also will bear its fruit, which is the joy of the Resurrection. If we commend ourselves and all our lives--even (especially) our suffering--to Christ our God, we ought to have that joy always before us. That is how we can "rejoice in the Lord always" (Phil. 4:4).

The Cross as the Tree of Life**

Joy.

One of the greatest blessings of my life has been seeing how joy fills my children. They are all sweet and wonderful creatures, and each of them brings joy to me in their own way, but right now I am thinking especially of my five-year-old daughter, whom I frequently describe as "ebullient." She is almost always smiling, bouncing, giggling, hugging, sharing. (I'm not kidding. She'll even smile and laugh right after she's thrown up.) Especially at church, when she is reverencing the icons and lighting her candles, she can hardly contain herself. It's all she can do not to hop up and down all the way up there and back, with a smile beaming ear-to-ear. Some of that is the energy of a kindergartener, but mostly, I think it's genuine, 100% pure, heavenly joy. She reminds me to look for joy everywhere, even in little things. I forget that every moment can be an offering to God.

What about you--what are your thoughts on joy? Have you ever encountered a truly joyful person? Have you been able to find joy in your suffering? How do you look for joy in your everyday life? I invite you to share your thoughts in the comments section below.

*For those of you who have no idea what the title has to do with this post, here's a video.
**This image, found online, is cover art for this book. 

Privacy and Personas

So, I haven't written in ages. But it's not for lack of trying.

Well, not completely. I've started 2 posts and have them both pretty close to finished, but I've honestly been a bit too drained to wrap either of them up. I've had a lot going on, and also just needed to take some extra time to rest. Hopefully just putting this up tonight will help me get over the hump.I think I'm going to keep this one a little more casual than usual.

I guess I struggle a little bit with trying to decide how much I'm comfortable sharing, and with whom--what my privacy settings need to be, which social media sites get to know my full name, etc. The more anonymity I can have, the freer I feel to let loose and really share. I'm thinking now that I've quit facebook, and therefore no longer share the link to this blog over there when I update, most of the people who drop in here will either be people I trust or people who have no idea who I am. I think that will probably work for me.

I made the decision to leave fb once they rolled out the ticker. Now, they make sitewide changes all the time, and while I find them mildy irritating, I usually just roll with them anyway. But the ticker was a huge problem for me, because I had put a lot of effort into limiting exactly who can see exactly what when it came to my posts. The ticker put the choice of what is seen in the hands of the other people, not in mine, so pretty much anyone on my "friends" lists could now see ALL of my comments on other friends' statuses and photos as I made them; while it was possible for them to see these things before, it would have been much more difficult for them to see unless they also commented on the same item.  I also wasn't entirely sure whether people I don't know would be able to see my status updates or photos if a mutual friend commented there, despite my settings. The only private place left was the private message, and that kind of takes the joy out of having conversations about specific items.

Anyway, none of this might have been such a big deal to me if I were a different person. But the person I am is one who made the painful and nerve-wracking decision recently to cut off contact with my emotionally unstable mother and my enabling and manipulative father, and who had only very limited communications with them for years before that. The person I am is one who just simply doesn't trust everyone, and who doesn't like everyone she knows to know everything there is to know about her, even if they're not lunatics. While I'd rather not be out-of-the-loop when it comes to birth announcements and wedding photos and news of friends' week-long hospital stays, when it came down to making a choice between missing all of that important social information or feeling like it wasn't safe to share any information of my own, the person I am chose the former.


Now, I have been spending more time over at g+, and I did just join twitter (what!), and I certainly am under no illusions that either of those sites is perfect when it comes to privacy, either. But I should still be able to keep up with at least a few people. If you know me in real life, look for me on one of those sites, or shoot me an email, or leave me a message here. I might also be willing to learn to use the telephone.


I really hate the telephone.


But I digress.


Anyway, I guess my main focus over the past several months has been trying to figure out exactly how much contact I'm comfortable with from people who make me uncomfortable. And what it's come down to is: Pretty much zero. But learning that--and making the changes I needed to make--has given me the most peaceful 6 months of my entire life. And now, I think I may be ready to write again.